Unless you have been extinct for the last 65 million years then you will know Jurassic World is now out in cinemas. So here is the trailer:
Overall this is a great, big, fun summer movie that is just the right blend of exciting, insanity and over the top action. This isn’t to say the movie is without fault but it allows you to suspend your disbelief, stop being so cynical and lose yourself in the film.
20 years after the first park had a few teething difficulties (I couldn’t help myself) we have Jurassic World. Re-branded to be bigger, better and now fitted with T-Rex proof toilets… because no one wants to be caught with their pants down when a peckish dinosaur accidentally opens your cubicle door. The park has been open for 10 years and despite a petting zoo, hamster balls and canoeing with dinosaurs our obnoxious, bratty and spoilt cell phone generation says dinosaurs aren’t cool enough. I hate our generation! The solution? to this is to create a GM dinosaur that has a bit more pizazz about it. This effort is spearheaded by park manager, Claire (Bryce Dallas-Howard), and financial backer Mr. Masrani (Irrfan Khan). Meanwhile, Chris Pratt features as
Dr. Ian Malcolm Owen, a velociraptor trainer/whisperer, who is basically a better looking, more tanned and funnier Dr Malcolm, who thinks this is a bad idea.
This inevitably goes wrong… because otherwise this movie would just be like building a successful zoo in Zoo Tycoon: Dinosaur Digs (Yes I had a lonely childhood).
However… this film is not perfect. Here are some of things you have to gloss over:
1) Claire has a lot of action scenes in this film. There is no inherent problem with this…except she does all of it in not so insignificant HIGH HEELS.
Running away from Pterosaurs.. High heels. Running away from T-Rex… heels. Running through the jungle… heels. Driving an ambulance at high speeds… heels. Running on a blood coated floor… heels. Jumping down a waterfall and swimming to safety… heels. You get the point.
All Im saying is her feet must have lost all sensation and feeling years ago to pull this off.
2) Plot-asaurus Rex .
This dinosaur was made through genetic splicing and hand picking modern animal traits to fill in the gaps to perfect its killing capabilities. Fine… im going to take the leap with you and suspend my disbelief as this is basically how they made all the dinosaurs.
Except this dinosaur is basically a supervillain… I mean I’d have just called the Avengers to deal with this. Here is a list of the Indominus Rex’s superpowers:
- Camouflage like a chameleon
- Can control its own Thermal Signature
- Can sense the thermal signatures of other creatures
- Can logic the fuck out of every situation
- Doesn’t have those pointless, tiny T-Rex arms
- Can talk to other dinosaurs and make them into her minions
- Sibling eating
- Can creep up silently despite being 60ft long
- Awareness of surgical procedures
- Bullet Proof Skin
- Super speed running
However, she has the one weakness all super-villains share…procrastination. You have your enemy right where you want them and you can obliterate them any second. This is clearly the time for pea cocking so something can save them. Just once I want to see the villain get on with it and kill some fools.
3) Human’s immediately want to weaponize anything
Okay this is pretty realistic but what sort of psychotic, warmongering dip-shit thinks that the best use of a velociraptor is strapping a camera to its head and sending it on Black Ops missions. I mean I’ve never met a dinosaur who isn’t completely fluent in English, follows chain of command and understands the social and political consequences of sneaking into countries and assassinating people you don’t like.
Well I’ve never met a dinosaur but you get my point.
Anyway. This was a thoroughly enjoyable film, the entire cast gave great performances. The plot was ludicrous but so whole-heartedly committed to being ludicrous that you just go with it plus there are some great throw backs to the original. The film is CGI heavy but it is top-draw SFX work and there are some nice close up scenes using the prosthetic models.
The original Jurassic Park was a perfect movie. This leaves two main problems for any sequels –
1) We’ve already scene dinosaurs on film so now the originality of the scare/wow/fear factor isn’t there
2) It is still just going to be a movie about being chased by dinosaurs. A dinosaur theme park that goes wrong is a pretty narrow set of restrictions there is very little you could do to divert from the formula. This isnt Star Wars or Marvel where you can just chuck in new aliens/planets/baddies/superheroes and make it all shiny, brand new each time.
Given these 2 problems Jurassic World surpassed my expectations they gave a refreshing take on an old idea (by having the functioning park) and by developing the old story by taking the genetic engineering further in a way that modern society would demand. And they made the movie exciting, visually brilliant and very funny to boot.
WELCOME TO JURASSIC PARK” ” LIFE WILL FIND A WAY” ” CLEVER GIRL” SCREW IT JUST GO SEE THE FILM
PS. THE HAMMOND STATUE IS GREAT
PPS. SEEING A PTERODACTYL TRY AND FAIL TO PICK UP A BABY DINOSAUR IS HILARIOUS
PPPS. I TEARED UP TWICE AT THE SITE OF DINOSAURS COUPLED WITH THE MUSIC